Perfect what is it?


Hello my beautiful lovely dolls,

I'm not going to do a beauty post per se, but more of an inspirational post. Now when ever I go out shopping I always see young girls looking at make up and hear them say "I can't stand my face it's hideous and I just want to put a mask on.   I find myself thinking yes enhance your feature, but don't cover yourself up to hide your true self! I've been there and done exactly what they are doing, but as I've grown up and learned to apply make up to enhance my best feature I've stopped moaning about how I look...sometimes. 

I've also noticed some girls saying oh I want a nose job or lipo to slimdown my big hips. I want to shout no no stop! Again I have been there, a few years ago I was in topshop and I was having a personal shopper moment and the girl helping me was pretty thin and I found myself moaning about my hips and bum as they were big! She's looked at me with pure shock on her face and grabbed me by the shoulders and said "don't you dare say that you are beautiful, if a guy was to look at you years ago he would see child bearing hips and a voluptuous butt! I'm sure guys today see exactly that as well! You just need the right clothes to improve on these features!" 

So I say never ever say you're fat unless it affects your health! Even then don't say it, just say "ok I've put on a few pounds and I need to do something about it!" But don't ever go on a health freak kick cus you will just go from one extreme to the next.

Going back to the young girls, I looked at them and thought you've caked yourself in make up drawn eyebrows on and make yourself look like a clown how can you possibly think that is better than the real you!?! I have learned to go a few days without make up as it lets my skin breath! Yea I find it difficult to let guys see me without make up, but shock horror I found myself doing exactly that the other night when I spoke to this guy over Skype. I even told him I'm not wearing make up so excuse the hideous face! Yes I said hideous, but it was meant as a joke to him! He's turned round and said "I don't care to be honest I don't like it when girls wear make up as I can't see their true beauty!"

Now this was the first time I had ever spoken to him via skype so was the first time he's ever seen me. So I felt happy knowing a guy liked me for me and not the mask I always hide behind!

So just like the picture says "perfection doesn't exist!" Actually to me it does, however we all have our own view on "perfection" I see perfection as when we learn to accept ourselves and not what we think others say we should look like! Young girls today look at magazines and see thin celebrities and models, what they don't see is all the airbrushing that goes on to give them a thin waist or slim arms or that flawless smooth face! 

I personally feel that is the cause in the rise in eating disorders! The warped views on what they think is perfect! Now to you I might not seem perfect and I'm not believe me I've made mistakes, but they are life experiences. Yet I see myself as "perfect" as I have learned to accept who I am! I'm not going to change how I look or act. I'm not going to change my body just because some magazine says oh you're not a size 0 you're so not perfect! Yes I'm plus size and I don't give a damn, I am me I am real I'm not cosmetically altered, yes I considered lipo when I was younger. I'm glad I didn't have it as I wouldn't be me anymore! We are all born in different ways, different sizes, different colour skin. Yet we are all beautiful and perfect in our own ways. We are REAL! 

Even guys find themselves doing the same thing, trying to alter their body's with steroids so they become "buff" so girls find them attractive! NO NO NO. Girls will find you attractive for you being you, for your personality not your looks! Well they should because personality remains but looks will fade over time!

So yes we are born to be real. Not perfect by societies standards! We don't want to end up being copies of someone else. If we do then we won't be unique, we won't be standing out from the crowd and won't get noticed for who we really are.

So girls be you not someone else! Accept you for you, don't try and change because some editor of a magazine or cosmetic company says your hideous! Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and sweetheart to me you're beautiful, you're stunning, you're amazing! So wipe of that thick mask and use make up to enhance features not cover them up! 

Life Plan Update

Hello my lovelies,

Yes another life plan and this one is so much better than the last. I'm still working as a teaching assistant and yes I still love it, but it's not what I want to do for the future. Every time I think of my future I always come back to acting. What will I think of on my death bed when I look back on my life? The what if and could have beens? Or the things I actually did? Probably a bit of both to be honest, but I know if I don't grab this dream by the horns and make it reality then I will regret it for the rest of my life.

I auditioned for LAMDA (London Academy of Music and Dramatic Art) five years ago and didn't get a place, so I thought wait a year and try again, well that year turned into five almost six and in that six years I've been saving money and researching unis and colleges and acting classes. I've found out that you don't really need a degree in acting or drama. As long as you have had training, maybe weekend, evening or summer schools then that's all that matters. Plus you have to keep on training to improve your skills. So I'm planning on doing acting classes, that way I can keep working during the day in order to actually pay for the classes and travel to classes and auditions.

Plus I don't think I could go back to uni for three years, especially seen as they are 9k a year now (damn the government). Anyways, I enquired about a few courses and one was even a singing class in my home town, they said they will put me on the waiting list for classes starting in September. Just have to look at the better acting classes. I have found a course (evening) that is three terms and costs £2250 a term so £6,750, which basically is roughly what it used to be for three years of uni, actually it's cheaper. So I may enquire about that course. Most courses are in London or Birmingham in the evening. I'm going to look at Birmingham as I don't particularly want to be wondering the streets of London on my own at night. Whereas Birmingham I can just call my sister (I know cheeky, but that's only if I need help getting to the train station when taxis are being pains in the backside).

So yes I have nearly everything figured out, it also helps that a work colleague of mine has followed his dreams of acting and now has an agent and is working at the Fringe Festival in Edinburgh Scotland and will be touring with a stage company soon as well. Plus my sister has had part of her dream come true, she had one of her short stories published in an anthology. The story is called 'The Baroness and the Servant Girl'. So if you're persistent, dedicated, hard working and stubborn, then things can pay off.

Let me know if you've followed your dreams and how they turned out. 

Edit: I've actually been researching a few courses in London and I've fallen in love with about 10, so I need to whittle them down before I start applying for them. I've also started to keep a track on my finances (thank you windows excel for making an app for the iPad, my life has been made so much easier). I've also been looking into post grad funding and was in which I can raise money without getting a personal development loan from the bank - don't want to go into anymore debt - and to be honest I'm quite enjoying all the research into courses and funding. I know I said I didn't want to go to London, but if I'm doing a post grad then - in the words of my mother - I need to go where the courses are and what better place then the home of the West End and BBC, ITV etc etc. with all this research and determination to do dance and singing lessons in the next year I think I'm finally confident enough to actually go for the acting courses. That's the only thing that held me back was my confidence (didn't help that I had stuck up girls at school telling me I wasn't good enough) but that's in the past I've grown up ( or at least I think I have lol) and I'm determined to do what I want, I've tried so hard to put acting out of my mind, but I just can't so I'm seeing that as a sign of I have to do it, I was meant to do it. I mean even if it's just bit parts in shows at least I'm acting and I have something to show for all the training and what not. So yeah, this time next year I could be say "yes I'm back of to uni again", but in the meantime I will keep you all posted on my progress I.e. Auditions, applications etc.
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