03/04/2014

Broken heart - how do you cope?

                                   

Hello my lovely gorgeous dolls,
Today I'm going to talk about how I deal with heartbreak. Just about everyone experiences a break-up at some point, and many then have to deal with heartbreak — a wave of grief, anger, confusion, low self-esteem, and maybe even jealousy all at once. When you do go through heart break most people will tell you you'll get over it or you'll meet someone else, but when it's happening to you, it can feel like no one else in the world has ever felt the same way. If you're experiencing these feelings, there are things you can do to lessen the pain.
Here are some tips that have helped me in the past.

Let It Out

  • Share your feelings. Some people find that sharing their feelings with someone they trust — someone who recognizes what they're going through — helps them feel better. That could mean talking over all the things you feel, even having a good cry on the shoulder of a comforting friend or family member. Talk with a friend or family member, a teacher, or counselor. It might make you more comfortable if you find a female family member or friend, like an older sister or a neighbor, to talk to.
  • Don't be afraid to cry. Going through a break-up can be really tough, and getting some of those raw emotions out can be a big help. Now if you're a guy then this will be tough just like sharing your feelings with someone, but there's no shame in crying now and then. No one has to see you do it — you don't have to start blubbering in class or anything. Just a find a place where you can be alone, like crying into your pillow at night or in the shower when you're getting ready for the day.

Be Kind to Yourself

  • Remember what's good about you. This one is really important. Sometimes people with broken hearts start to blame themselves for what's happened. They may be really down on themselves, exaggerating their faults as though they did something to deserve the unhappiness they're experiencing. If you find this happening to you, nip it in the bud! Remind yourself of your good qualities, and if you can't think of them because your broken heart is clouding your view, get your friends to remind you.
  • Take good care of yourself. A broken heart can be very stressful so don't let the rest of your body get broken too. Get lots of sleep, eat healthy foods, and exercise regularly to minimize stress and depression and give your self-esteem a boost.
  • Do the things you normally enjoy. Whether it's seeing a movie or going to a concert, do something fun to take your mind off the negative feelings for a while.
  • Keep yourself busy. Sometimes this is difficult when you're coping with sadness and grief, but it really helps. This is a great time to redecorate your room or try a new hobby. That doesn't mean you shouldn't think about what happened — working things through in our minds is all part of the healing process — it just means you should focus on other things too.
  • Give yourself time. It takes time for sadness to go away. Almost everyone thinks they won't feel normal again, but the human spirit is amazing — and the heartbreak almost always heals after a while. But how long will that take? That depends on what caused your heartbreak, how you deal with loss, and how quickly you tend to bounce back from things. Getting over a break-up can take a couple of days to many weeks — and sometimes even months.
Yes heartbreak is hard to handle and yes it seems like the end of the world, trust me I've been there and know how it feels, but it will get better in time. I'm not saying you'll be fine tomorrow or even by the end of the week as we all have our own methods and time scale in which we mend. A word of warning though, if your heartbreak is down to a break up, the moment someone new enters your life make sure that you are truly over your ex. There is nothing worse than starting a new relationship when you still have feelings for your ex. Main reason being is the feelings you have for mr or miss new won't be real and you will start to compare your new beau to your old one.
Now I've been in a relationship where my ex compared me to all his exes. Mainly because I wasn't the "type" he normally went for. So it felt almost like he was keeping score and writing down all the flaws and all the things he found interesting as he would tend to say "well my ex never acted like that or did that" well I'm not your ex so yea I'm not going to act or do things like her! It actually made me start to try and act or turn into his ex. Let's just say that didn't go down well as he then turned round and said "my ex use to do that and I hated it!" I could never win with him. So please I beg you don't go into a rebound relationship as when that fails you will go back to square one and it will be a whole lot worse.

So just take your time, keep yourself busy, cry when you need to, talk to someone if you want to or need to. I normally block or delete my ex from Facebook, delete their number, box up anything they have given you or any pictures you may have of them and put it somewhere you won't be tempted to look in and bring back those memories. In time you may feel like you can handle the emotions and if you truly can then by all means open the box, but the second you feel like you're going to cry put it away. I have in the last year started speaking to my ex and was surprised when I found out he had grown up and he still had feelings for me. Yes I still care for him, but I know getting back together might not be the best thing. So we are close friends and nothing more and it's great as I can talk to him about anything even guys I like. He even gives me his views on things, which yes most might find weird but it's not. Having him back in my life after not speaking or having any contact with each other for five years is great.

Yes you will be able to do that yourself, might not take you as long but you will get there in the end and you will look back and think to yourself. It was for the best, having that heartbreak has made me who I am today and that is stronger. Breaking up with someone is hard and you may think being with them was a mistake as you wouldn't be hurt if you hadn't been with them as your heart wouldn't be breaking, but it's not a mistake it's a lesson that everyone learns in their life at some stage. Our choices and lessons make us the people we are today.
                     
Hope any of you who are going through a heartbreak are ok, if you need to talk drop me a line and I will try to help. If not please feel free to tell me how you deal with heart break.
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